So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I bet he comes in French.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
