For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
