I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize