I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
handjob tips. give me some.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
