Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
