eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
