Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
