man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
