You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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