i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I have tasted many bathrooms
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
