she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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