Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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