Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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