i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
