Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
