I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
