I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
