Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
