would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Your dad touched me again.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
