my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize