brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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