Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
