craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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