why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Semen is not good for contacts.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
