don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
