well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
