i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
