We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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