Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
