He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
