I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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