The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
and she was petting her beer can
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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