worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
