i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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