I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
