I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
