I smell stomach acid.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
