just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I would fuck him just for his dog
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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