Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
God, I missed his penis.
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