just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
