Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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