She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize