I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
