Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
