Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
