I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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