I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
