So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
