We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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