Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
