Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
True college students do jello shots in the library
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
