That's intense
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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