did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
