Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize