Porn is love you can see.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
