i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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