Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
