she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize