Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
